From the article: How to Deal With a Bully at Work
Bullying ended on the middle school playground - right? Wrong. Bullying at work is a serious problem that 54 million Americans have experienced. Have you been bullied or witnessed another employee dealing with bullying at work? What happened and how did you respond to the bullying at work? Please share your story about bullying at work. See More Reader Responses. Share Your Bullying Story
In the healthcare industry
- I have been with the company for many years and have been the victim of bullying twice. Each time it's by a person(s) who are on paper good at their job, but they are well known for bad mouthing/gossiping. One changed years ago and is now nice. But recently there is a small group of 3 who take my billing and lie and say they gave it back, the keys to my locked desk have come up missing, mocking me, won't get on an elevator with me. They are always up away from their desks half the day having personal conversations, and nothing gets done. One of the bullies was recently moved to our team because she was causing problems with her last team and now the same stuff is happening. One coworker transferred because of her, another has quit, I've complained and another coworker I had to talk out of quitting. Instead of moving the mean gal, they moved me (after complaining) to sit among them. I've since been called on many petty small things. It doesn't pay to let management know.
Bullying by worship leader at a church
- My job was not paid, I was a volunteer member of the church worship band. As such I had the most experience and knowledge of music. I created all the lead sheets (words with chords) that we used, transposing and creating cues for the musicians. The church worship leader, who's also the pastor's wife, comes across to most as a sweet lady but if you don't agree with her then look out. She was very denigrating to me on several instances during the 2 years I served the church by playing in the band, blessing me out numerous times about "not giving notice" if I had to be away and couldn't play. All in front of the team members who were all younger than her. My husband and I also headed up the hospitality ministry and she, in a quite high-handed way, took over the entire ministry, even though her husband had appointed us to handle it. He did nothing. We are leaving that church.
- —Guest guest - volunteer worker
Bullying colleagues, reluctant boss
- I have been bullied on and off by a colleague at the same level as me for nearly two years. He is an incredibly sulky and intimidating man, and he knows exactly what he is doing. He even told one of my colleagues who raised it with him that he knew how he was treating me was wrong but until somebody told him to stop he wasn't going to. That's the second problem - my boss does nothing about it. After one year it took me having a complete breakdown in a 1 to 1 meeting for her to take it seriously. He apologised (via email of course) and left me alone for a little while (literally just didn't talk to me, not very productive when we're in the same team). The problem is whenever anything pees him off or something bad happens, he starts up again. I hate him - he turns the charm on for everybody else, so I spend half the time thinking I'm crazy. One evil human being + a reluctant boss = one seriously unhappy me. Plus my boss is best friends with every member of HR, so there goes that avenue.
- —Guest Becky
Suspended in Retaliation
- I am a current victim of workplace bullying. I did the world's biggest mistake, and tried to stand up for myself after enough became enough. The supervisor, director, administrator, HR, and the crew that i relieve are all in the same "clique". They spend the majority of their shift picking, probing and prodding anything done on my shift. Frustrated with the inability to find official errors within my work, they have now fabricated a non existing issue, which could possible lead to licensing disiplinary actions. Which makes me the matter of suspension in retaliation of the letter that i wrote. The killing thing is not less than a week after i wrote the letter, my boss held a "general" meeting where she threatened all employees' job stating, "we all better be thankful we even have jobs" and admitted in an open meeting that she was a "sneaky" person. Even if i return to work after this suspension, who wants to work in that environment?
- —Guest Defamed
Nip this right in the bud
- No...my spouse worked in same office...staff knew not to mess with her....scared people.... 'bleep off attitude' caught two females gossiping about me and female co-worker....scared one female so much she did not return from maternity leave...'you will disappear with your friend Without A Trace'....Gossiping stopped....People will not bother someone if they think there will be retaliation which happened to us years ago....former co-worker got on our wrong side....we have dealt with her in a very painful way for her.....life has been ruined...getting what she deserves...
- —Guest steve muir
Afraid I will blow up
- I started a job a week after this bully did. He appears to have prejudged me on my appearance because he never wanted to talk to me to find out what I was about. I'm thinking I must remind him of someone he doesn't like, i.e. an older person, a little nerdy and maybe slightly effeminate, OR he must be dealing with confronting homosexuality in himself. At any rate, he makes all kinds of faces behind my back, but in view of my female trainer, who sits next to his cubicle, especially when I am trying my damnedest to understand something. The trainer doesn't help any by looking up at anything that moves past her cubicle and smiling at the person. I just try to play dumb whenever this happens. One day I fear I will turn around, see what's gong on, and blow my top and say things I won't be able to take back. In addition, I never am quick-witted as others in these situations because I always seem to think of the appropriate response long after the encounter!
- —Guest male being bullied
Bullied at Work
- I have been bullied at work for the last two years by my boss. She was terrible- She used intimidation, retaliation, and age discrimination. I ended up retiring and in counseling. It was a very difficult year.
- —Guest Guest 3
Bullying Happens Even in HR
- Some of the most skillful bullying happens in HR. My current boss is VP of HR and treats her staff, including me, like we are constantly under interrogation. I think the bullying shows up in part due to a command-control management style, her daily need to personally oversee every detail / decision, and her love of dramatic situations. The poor HR staff has nowhere to turn, because the CEO is much like her and they are tight. Can't wait for the job market to get better.
- —Guest Scared to talk
- I've been bullied by my boss for 3 years. He says I'm "f'ing stupid, idiot, asshole" etc. to name a few. I called off sick once in a year's time. When I returned the next day, he told me to go home and another employee worked my day.
- —Guest Hurting
Bullied at a Non Profit
- I was bullied at a non profit christian organization. I was told I acted like I had been abused, I was given nasty looks, I was told that I was being given "tough management" because my boss believed in me ( bully! ) and I was told she wanted to shoot me. Then I got fired. Thankfully, they realized I was going to sue them and gave me a nice severance package. I am now in a job that I love with a boss that is not bi polar and treats me like a person.
- —Guest Lola
- My administrator allowed a co-worker to say to me, in a team meeting, that my "health issues" are affecting the team performance. They could not tell me what the health issue was, when it happened, and how it affected the team. Would you feel ashamed and put down. How would you continue to work with this team without an aplology?
- —Guest Charlene Kopek
I can't leave my name
- What if your HR person is best friends with your boss and you know everything being said about you is a lie, then you have your team mates saying they have been told to report any indication from you that you are frustrated or even ask why or where when you are told to leave the client you are with immediately in order to help someone else. Then you are asked why you didn't reach your numbers / quota? Also told repeatedly by your team mates that "we don't know why she hates you so much or why she targets you like she does" we all want to go to HR but know that we will be in trouble if we do.
- —Guest really
- Yeah you know it. Guess what happy go lucky field I'm in? HOSPITALITY eeeew. It's the best I tell ya! Got the greasy cook's helpers just glaring at chya, like you're fresh meat! Then the man of them all, that thinks he's off the food channel ( Chef Ramsey wanna be), ate too many paint chips when he was a kid. Yells at chya when you come in absolutely happy and positive....cuz his knees are about to give out on him from that last muffin he stuffed in his face! As the lil fiddler (Manager) bouncing around putting labels on everything beaming with sweat! Fire happy fire happy....that's life folks someone's always going to have the upper hand. Thats bullying.
- —Guest Gumball
Yelling on the Phone
- Some bullies are more premeditated than others. It was a week ago when a situation occurred that revealed how a co-worker's negligence prevented me from completing a task on time for an important project. No surprise when I received a call from that co-worker yelling at me almost immediately. If I would have known what was coming, I would not have answered the phone. I was a victim of bullying as a child and this type of behavior, even though I am now 50, traumatizes me to the point I cannot sleep, cannot socialize, etc. The worst part is, no one does anything about it, even though my manager knows that this peer did this to me.
- —Guest BecCaudill
Go Away bully, far away
- Bullies come in all shapes utilizing different weapons: discredit your reputation, make you look foolish, show you are a 'failure', deny you the recognition and rewards you deserve, etc. Experience shows that there is no good alternative but to let that person go. Regardless how valuable they may be, the ultimate price the Organization pays is just too much.
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