From the article: How to Deal With a Bully at Work
Bullying ended on the middle school playground - right? Wrong. Bullying at work is a serious problem that 54 million Americans have experienced. Have you been bullied or witnessed another employee dealing with bullying at work? What happened and how did you respond to the bullying at work? Please share your story about bullying at work. See More Reader Responses. Share Your Bullying Story
Stop stigma of mental illness
- I understand these bullies are incredibly difficult and mean, but those of you citing mental illness or personality disorders as evidence need to stop. There are plenty of people with mental illnesses who do not bully. You're perpetuating stigma and making it difficult for people who already struggle to find employment. Your evidence should simply be the mean things the bully did- not that the bully has an issue.
- —Guest Jen
Hurt and overwhelmed
- I have been bullied on and off throughout my life. Never dealing with it, just walking away and pretending it hadn't happened is my usual action. I don't have a backbone for confrontations, so I'd rather go overboard with kindness in hopes the bully will see I'm not a threat and stop. This past week, I have been belittled, made to feel worthless, challenged in a situation that had nothing to do with me. Laughed at and humiliated then questioned if I was discussing the bully- by the bully - and when I attempted to say no, was called paranoid! This time, I felt overwhelmed with sickness, buried my head in the sand and then did something....I wrote a letter of complaint and listed all the times I'd been made to feel bullied. I also signed myself off sick for 7 days and gave my notice. So partly did something about it but have again run away. Stupid I know but years of being squashed have moulded my ability to be strong. I am free of her now, hope my complaint helps others she's hurting.
THIS IS TRUE BULLYING
- I am so upset, to think I walked away, in fear, of over 10 years of bullying! The past manager has me still shaken, she must be laughing at how she got away with all the bullying she pulled off. She has since been demoted, still employed here. To think, for over 10 years I swallowed everything, I did learn at this site, CALL 911, immediately, if any co worker physically harms you! I am waiting for next time she shoves or pushes me! I lost a tooth, eating a frozen cookie, end of 8 hour shift, NO BREAK. She had the guts to say TOOTH FELL OUT AT HOME, even though it just happened end of shift at work. Had to pay myself too! Hard to believe my story, but ALL IS TRUE! The time she threw a stack of papers at me, just missing my face, papers eveywhere, took me by the throat, holding my collar shirt, shoving me up against the closet door, saying to me,"YOU ARE SO JEALOUS OF ME!" There I stood. Story goes on, so much fear of what this woman would do to me or my family. I told upper management, just a coverup!
- —Guest bas
Bullying is not your fault
- During high school I was never bullied but I was quiet and sometimes the teachers would make me feel terribe for that. I was hard working and intelligent but quiet. I was blessed to have such nice classmates. But it was more when I started working after University that I was bullied. I met coworkers or bosses who were rude, abusive and plain mean to communicate with. They would yell at me in front of others, manipulate and use me, hand over projects they didn't want to do, gossip, compete, influence others to pick on me and make me cry numerous times. Eventually it got too hard to stay so I left and found a better job where they were so much nicer and professional and respectful. They genuinely liked me and I found confidence again. My old work place shattered my confidence. I dreaded going to work. I realised they had picked up on my innocence. Instigated by a young guy. I didnt want to flirt with him. I was also more qualified than him. Maybe he resented that. I'm a pretty female Engineer.
- —Guest Friendlygirl
Long time being bullied
- Way over 10 years of being bullied at work. From being handled at the neck to being shoved up against the closet door. Humiliated in front of others, had to get doctor's excuse just to have 15 minute break in 8 hour shift. Multi tasking at front desk without any breaks whatsoever, and not going to the bathroom in an 8 hour shift! Actually had guts to give me OLD FROZEN DARK CHOCOLATE CANDY THAT WAS MARKED AND SCUFFED FOR CHRISTMAS GIFT. LEFT ME IN TEARS. Excluded from meetings, Christmas parties, not allowed to sit with team members at party. Told to leave the table. It is still going on and not sure if legal rights outside of work is acceptable. Can't find any other job, need paycheck. Help is way overdue. I do need an attorney; there should be laws about something like this.
- —Guest bas
Bullying in home health care
- I feel that home health aides such as myself are particularly vulnerable to workplace bullying. I have experienced harassment, been lied about and had my work sabotaged. We work unsupervised so isolation can be a problem when coping with difficult coworkers.
- —Guest jean
Fourth bully manager
- I worked for the BEST managers at the beginning of my career. Advice from one: know who you are and be comfortable with yourself and you will manage your life relationships better and ALWAYS allow people to save face. Our CIO (manager's manager) is a publicly documented bully and narcissist. She is angry that I took 5 years of intermittent FMLA to care for my husband, who was seriously ill, until he passed away. She retaliated continually. There is nepotism here. She yells and drops the "f" bomb frequently. I filed an FMLA discrimination complaint and an investigation was done. Despite my documentation, everyone in my agency lied to protect the agency. I lost. However, I know who I am and that I am a good employee. I just come to work and don't put any emotion into it. I will outlast her or leave on my own terms. I have panic attacks and depression. My grief for the loss of my husband is profound and compounded by this situation. My favorite quote these days is: "I saw that!" - Karma
- I started a new job last summer and was very excited about making some positive changes. However, my first week there, my boss started telling me how evil the university's lawyer was and to watch my back. He also told me it was his goal to get her fired! However, when I started working with her, I found her a wonderful person. He asked me several weeks later my opinion on her and I honestly said she was wonderful. If looks could kill. After that he would embarass and belittle me in meetings and constantly threatened me and wrote me up as an incompent employee. I put in a grievance but was told that it would not be accepted because my position was considered faculty and not classified. Another employee, hired at the same time, quit last week for the same exact reason. I received notice last week that my contract would not be renewed and the reason... my VP doesn't like me. I work for the state (Virginia), and I still find it hard to believe that I lose my job because he doesn't like me.
Bully at a College
- I work in the culinary department at a liberal arts college in Maine, I also own a large farm in the country. One of my co-workers started snubbing me when we were at the change of a shift. I documented it, but in no time it turned into her confronting me in front of my co-workers. Documented again. The next day, she was MAD, and wanted to "talk." That ended up being just her, yelling at me, calling me insecure, a cry baby for sending all of the documentation to my director. She even said that one of my co-workers said that she said I smelled because I live on a farm, even though I don't even deal with the animals. We had a meeting today, she was very humble, especially since this has happened to her before and the other person left the college. She said, " I don't have a filter on my mouth." We agreed to be civil and professional with each other, nothing else. If this comes up again, I will go straight to Human Resources.
- —Guest Donna
Always getting bullied
- I hate to go work every day. Every time those Senior level officers always give me too much work to do, My job cannot finish up. These Senior level officers talk the whole day and the manager never takes any actions and gives better performance apprasials for them including promoting junior staff to another level BUT not ME. WHY?
- —Guest Unfairness
Supervisor's very first day on the job
- I have been working for my current employer for over a year, with very good conditions and interactions with the owner & fellow employees. A new Supervisor arrives and on her very first day she pulls me aside to tell me she is not 'fooled by my fake happy personality' and that she does not like my name. This is on her very first day, in 40 years of being a valued employee for this and other companies, how on earth do I handle a new supervisor like this? I was as honest, direct and polite as possible told the supervisor that she could then call me Mrs. xxx, that I am genuinely a pleasant individual by nature, but feel like I need to understand where this may lead. Why on earth would someone feel the need to start a new working relationship with these comments?
HR Bully and Bias
- I have worked in the HR department for 7 years, always getting bullied by senior level officers in the same department. I suffered a lot, cried, and I don't deserve the low salary and rank, all sufferings.
- —Guest Trap
- Yesterday I was laid off my job because I, and six or seven other co-workers have been trying to stop this woman who is the "office manager" from bullying and manipulating us. We wrote letters to the management, and asked out boss to stop her. She hid our work, lied about our quality of work to our boss, and constantly tried to provoke us. There seemed to be no limits to what she would do to get ahead herself, while stepping on her co-workers. I believe she either has mental control over our boss, as he is elderly, or she is seductive to him, or she knows something about the business that she holds over his head. After 3 years of complaints filed by 5 or 6 workers, nothing changed. She was "talked to" a few times, and that is all. She would say stuff to them like' "I just can't imagine why in the world anyone would say such silly things," and used a fake southern charm that people actually fell for, I guess. Well, I wrote a letter to management because she was starting to turn it around. She would block someone in the office, by blocking the door, and confront them about some inconsequential thing. When they would tell her to move so they could escape the room, she would tell management the next day that she felt threatened, and she was blocked in. That was her tactic, you did it to me!! I left nothing out of my letter, being at the end of my rope. I said I was afraid she would set one of us up, missing money, or we hit her, or whatever her twisted mind would come up with. The next day, they offered me Lay Off status, instead of firing, so I could collect unemployment. That part is good, but now I am unemployed, away from my job and co-workers that I liked, and isolated. I am not young anymore, and it is not so easy to get jobs. Anyway, I feel cast out, for trying to protect my co-workers and myself. I guess this happens all the time!
- —Guest tenaj48
- I am a nursing instrutor and I have been bullied by a new co-worker. Now it seems I am the brunt of work place mobbing. It is the worst thing I have ever experienced. I have tried to go to upper management but it has gone on deaf ears. I am now experiencing physical issues
- —Guest lucy r
- My boss isn't just a bully, she's a racist. She will only give the time of day to black people or men. Everyone knows it, she's even joked about it. I seem to be her main target for some unknown (to me & others) reason. I work for a large retail chain and we both have a lot of seniority. She's way ahead of me in seniority though. I'm 54 and REFUSE to leave because of her, she won't win that way! Please advise me.
- —Guest LL
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