Flaunt Your Skills Not Your Sexuality
Maria Xenidou, age 35, Senior Associate, National Starch & Chemical Company, Bridgewater, New Jersey, follows the advice of a mentor who told her never to answer a senior person’s query, “How are you?” with “Fine.” Instead, she says, “I give a one sentence update on what I am working on or a recent challenge I mastered. By doing so, I keep upper management up-to-date about my career and what might have been a quick hello in the hall often turns into a longer conversation.”
And, highly successful women know not to flirt, swear or be the last one at the bar. A 2005 study by Tulane University found that women who send flirtatious email, wear short skirts, cross their legs provocatively or massage a man's shoulders at work win fewer pay raises and promotions.
You Can’t Have It All If You Do It All
The biggest hurdle that women have to leap is managing kids and a career. While men also have busy professional and personal lives, women shoulder the majority of household and child care responsibilities and pay the career consequences. According to Catalyst, Workplace Flexibility Isn’t Just a Woman’s Issue, 2003, women are more likely than men to:
- Employ outside services for domestic help.
- Share personal responsibilities with a partner.
- Use childcare services.
- Rely on supportive relatives other than their partner.
- Curtail personal interests.
Successful women plan their careers and don’t attempt to do it all. Steiner is married with four children at home. She started her family after completing her education and making a mark in her organization. Says Steiner, “I don’t attempt to do it all. I delegate a lot of the household chores to make our lives work.”
Honor The Female Advantage
In Fast Company, “Women and Men, Work and Power”, February 1998, Sharon Patrick, President and COO, Martha Stewart Living, is quoted as saying, “We can't ignore a million years of history – at the office or in the living room. Men hunt, women gather.” A funny but true attribute of the modern hunter is “going for the jugular and then inviting you out for a beer afterwards.”
According to Nicki Joy and Susan Kane-Benson, authors of Selling is a Woman’s Game, women tend to encourage harmony and agreement, consult with experts, employees and peers before making a decision, and make personal connections with others at work.
As more organizations move away from authoritarian values and a rigid hierarchy to a more open, informal, democratic model, “being raised as a man is no longer an advantage” says John Naisbitt, author of Megatrends. I agree. What do you think? Tell us what you think in the Human Resources Forum.
Read on to find out Why Women Need to Get in Line
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Judith Lindenberger is President of The Lindenberger Group, a human resources consulting and training firm. She can be contacted at 609-730-1049, or send email or visit The Lindenberger Group.
