From the article: How to Deal With a Bully at Work
Bullying ended on the middle school playground - right? Wrong. Bullying at work is a serious problem that 54 million Americans have experienced. Have you been bullied or witnessed another employee dealing with bullying at work? What happened and how did you respond to the bullying at work? Please share your story about bullying at work. See More Reader Responses. Share Your Bullying Story
Cosmetics boss... worst bully
- I started working in cosmetics about a year ago at Macy's with what seemed like the best boss in the world. She did her best at showing me the ropes and making sure I got through all of my interviews well, but after working with her for a couple of months she started bullying my hair style, telling coworkers that I didn't have any friends, and going out of her way to make me miserable. I went into a deep depression. While this was happening, I was in the middle of switching schools and didn't know many people. Well, I found out that many people didn't like her, and I befriended a new girl from the counter across from mine. One day I was telling her that my boss was a bully and I later found out that my boss was quietly spying on me from a corner. My boss later convinced my coworkers that I was a backstabber, and stupid girl despite my potential. Later I started to get coached by her manager but in reality was being publicly humiliated in front of others, and she ended up getting promoted.
- —Guest miss removed
Ugliest boss on planet: I worked for her
- I had the unhealthy experience to work for a bully boss who played obvious favorites and seemed to take pleasure in getting people fired. Her bullying was so bad, it forced me to take fmla to deal with the depression and stress she had piled upon me. Upon returning, I infomed the HR boss and her boss what I had been diagnosed with (even though they said you don't have to. I say plausable deniablity ) And, it just got worse from there. Boss continued to use phrases and statement like lazy, "that call was crap," even raised her voice when I said yes mam to her questions. "Dont't call me mam just because you are mad at me!" I had gone to HR just that day to talk about how she was talking to me and how I didn't know if I wanted to report to the boss due to fear of retaliation. My area manager saw me in HR and brought it to my boss's attention that same day. Was denied when asked if I could be moved off of her team, even thought there was space, and was fired two days later for saying, under my breath, "I hate coachings."
- —Guest mad as a hatter
Bothered
- I've worked about 1 year at my job and one of my co-workers asked me my age and if I was married and since then doesn't hesitate to inform people of my marital status whenever I am talking to any co-worker of the opposite sex or my boss. I believe most everyone already knows I'm married so it normally wouldn't bother me except it's sometimes brought up awkwardly like from across the room. Also this person has tried to get me into trouble before and I don't think this person deserves a right to my private life. I'm not a confrontational person but I did say something when I first noticed it and it interrupted one of my conversations but is still going on and it annoys me. Should I just let it go? (If it's really bothersome, ask her to stop again and tell her that you really don't want to involve the supervisor but that you will if you have to.)
- —Guest bothered
Share your bully story
- I'm in housekeeping, and a nurse does exaggerated "retarded" imitations of my speech and walk when I'm around her. Nurses witness it, and do nothing. I avoid her as much as I can. If you're in housekeeping, you're nothing. HR paints you as the trouble-maker when you ask for help. This woman is a deacon at her church, and holds bible study groups at the hospital. What an example she sets.
- —Guest janet
The Bullying Female Boss
- Possibly the worst experience I have had in my 18 years of work experience is to have experienced a female boss who is a bully. I am a Trinidadian and there are many female bosses in the corporate environment. The past four years has been filled with abuse, not just of myself, but other coworkers who strive to survive in the environment by sinking each other. I recently resigned but I would like to meet with other Trinis who have experienced bullying and abuse so that we can lobby for legislation regarding this issue. I stood up to this woman before, repectfully, when she verbally abused me. But having suffered a panic attack and symtoms from a recent and terrible screaming at me over the phone, I had enough. No job is worth the abuse. But incredibly, she even intimidated the HR officer for having advised me on what to do and how to resign. Abusers typically target their victims and when the victim escapes they try to target anyone who helps you. I call her the abuser! She is very manipulative.
- —Guest Lisa Di
Mother Daughter Duo
- I have had a terrible time at work. Ever since I had broken off the friendship with my boss's daughter, they have both come against me. I have had documents ripped, things stolen, requests for time off torn out of the book, and have been accused of non-work related things that were embarassing in a work meeting. I brought it to the attention of HR and they listened but nothing was done. Everyone attested to these harassing things that I've had to deal with as well as their own problems with the duo. I emailed HR back asking for when to expect the changes that had been promised and they responded to my email without giving notice to my inquiry.
- —Guest brittney
Bad Boss
- I made a mistake with my boss. I apologised. I had no idea my boss had a grudge against me. She began a rather nasty campaign against me. She got people to harass me at work, not all at once, but over time. She publicly humiliated me three times she got someone to wee on my lawn. She really got nasty; she pretended that she had forgiven me when she hadn't. When I bought a nice xmas present for my mum, she criticised it, but I just ignored what she said because my mum had just lost a son and I was being nice for her. I stayed too but all the harassment was starting to really affect me. If my boss couldn't forgive me, then she should have sacked me. I was genuinly sorry. I hope people learn from my mistake. If your boss has a nasty, vindictive side then just leave. My boss knew I don't have much confidence in myself. That's why she was so nasty.
- —Guest Beccy
Bullied at work
- Have a supervisor who has told lies to management to get me into trouble which ended with a mediator being called in. But, when the chips were down in the meeting, all he did was apologise for his mistakes. Since then, he has told the rest of my team that I have been complaining about them behind their backs and now I am the outcas. One day they are fine with me then the next I get ignored and avoided. (I would talk with your team members and let them know what is going on. Read: Dealing with Bullies: http://humanresources.about.com/od/difficultpeople/qt/work_bully.htm)
- —Guest Tony
Bullied at work, too
- Yes, bullied by a new graduate nurse who would pick over my work and report me to the supervisor. The funny thing is, I did the right thing, she had no idea what she was talking about! Left the job when it wouldn't stop and no help from the supervisor.
- —Guest been there
Bullying supervisor
- The nurse manager is constantly reviewing the counselor's interactions and work, going over my head to my boss who is naive and only comments that she's just the way she is. The bullying manager has "spies' reporting to him. The situation is making me paranoid, actually causing me to mess up. How can I prevent these ongoing attacks? (Here are some ideas: http://humanresources.about.com/od/difficultpeople/qt/work_bully.htm)
- —Guest marsha west
Bullying should be banned
- Hi, I've left a variety of jobs in the past few years due to bullying. People initially start off friendly and then, when they see that I can do the job very well, they do things to stop me working, start causing problems, belittle me, etc. In these cases, I haven't had the energy or stength to fight as it has been numerous people. The thing that I see now is how good my drive, motivation and skill are in the field I am in. Why can't people just let others live and work? I feel that people have this issue with me because I am extremely hard working and motivated and will solve everything given to me. Bullies from what I have seen are jealous people who usually stay in a job for ages because they are either unqualified or cannot adapt. (You don't need to continue to be a target for bullies. See: http://humanresources.about.com/od/difficultpeople/qt/work_bully.htm How to Deal With a Bully at Work.)
- —Guest Bob
Bullying Boss Ignores the Bully Coworker
- I have dealt with a bullying boss and coworker for about a year now. When I first mentioned it to HR and my boss, I was doubted, but the coworker admitted everything he was doing and the company / HR / management refused to do anything about it, but told me, "maybe you dont belong here". I asked them to fire me then, but they haven't as they said I did nothing that they would fire me over. NOW, a year later, the bully is starting things again. They are "little" instigating things to try and get under my skin and they are working, but I am not showing outwardly that they are working, but inside it is all bugging the &$#@* out of me. I am not sure what to do and don't know why I must leave instead of management/HR doing something to the bully. (Makes no sense to me either, but consider: http://humanresources.about.com/od/difficultpeople/qt/work_bully.htm. Good luck.)
- —Guest JG
Internet Bullying
- I was working for a small company back when social networking sites were still a new thing. I opened up an account and was an avid blogger. One day I logged in and saw that my blog had over a hundred hits in one day! Shortly thereafter a coworker began sharing details of my life she read in my online blogs (at the time intended for my friends but there was no privacy option back then) with everyone and making loud comments about me and my character anytime I asked her to do something (I was in charge of a project she was on). I cancelled my social networking site, but things only got worse She then began ditching mandatory project meetings and telling coworkers that I was bad mouthing them on my site and that was why I shut it down. At the time she was carrying on a relationship with someone else at work (it was initially a secret) and he began campaigning against me as well. I felt really trapped and had anxiety about going to work every day. I certainly couldn't lead my team.
- —Guest Jennie
Bosses Best Friend Became Supervisor
- When I came back from maternity leave, a change had been made. The boss, my manager, now allowed his female "best friend" with whom there are rumors of an affair, be the supervisor and now sign off on timesheets. She has used this tiny ounce of power and has totally run with it. She decided to come audit me and do a "job study" which ended up being a micromanagement nightmare and continues to harrass me to no end about minor numbers about my job that have nothing to do with anything. I went to the director and he told me to do whatever she asked of me and to only come to him if she asked me to kill somebody! Yes, he did. I work for the government and I went to HR and they didn't even flinch when I repeated that! My situation didn't fall inside the terms of their formal complaint list that they gave me and told me I have a personality conflict with this new "supervisor." (Are you secretly job searching? Sounds as if you have no support there at all. Document everything the supervisor, manager, and HR does and says with dates and witnesses when possible. You may eventually have a case to file. )
- —Guest Angela
Office bully
- I currently work with a dentist. We have a ghetto mouthed front desk person that is clearly defined as a bully. She physically threatened me with violence. She said she was going to slap me and to run me over in the parking lot with her car! I have told my boss and our office manager and they have done nothing yet. What do I do? (Tell your boss again that you feel threatened by her and tell him that you expect him to do something about it. Tell her to back off before you need to involve the authorities. If you truly think she is serious, get a restraining order to start and tell your boss you feel forced to seek one because of inaction. You may lose your job so you should be looking on the quiet, too. You may need to leave to feel safe. Read: http://humanresources.about.com/od/difficultpeople/qt/work_bully.htm)
- —Guest Charlotte
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