Ever notice everyone’s on a low fat diet after the heart attack?
Everyone has time for their kids after the divorce?
Everyone’s a financial genius after a bankruptcy?
As managers, supervisors and executives, we’re trained to judge our success on the size of our departments, budgets, sales, profits, bank accounts and the deals we make. When I had my own $50 million-a-year business, that’s what I thought, too. Being a successful CEO, I figured if I just worked hard enough, I’d wind up on top. Failure is something that happens to the other guys.
That’s when it happened to me. I lost everything. Everything I thought was important.
Money, power, prestige. Gone. My position as CEO? Gone, too.
Although I didn’t know it then, I had been given a gift. A “Gift of Desperation” that changed me and my outlook for the better. In the end, it made me a more successful person, too.
The "Gift of Desparation" Made Me a Better Person
We can all recognize a “Gift of Desperation”. It’s the “a-ha” that comes at the darkest of times. Speak with anyone who has had a life-changing experience, and they’ll tell you how much it has led them to appreciate each and every day. They have a higher sense of awareness and focus on living each day with joy.
Still need convincing? Look at how our country pulled together after 9-11-01. People actually started talking, connecting - and not just our friends and family - but strangers on the news or at the corner store. I had clients all over the country remarking something like this: “I never really appreciated just how important (blank) was, until now,” they’d say.
The way that (blank) got filled in varied from person to person, and organization to organization, but suddenly I could tell they had begun to notice that there was more to life than profits and possessions. The horror of that experience became a gift to many who chose to see the lessons.
Something Was Missing From my Life
When I received my “Gift of Desperation” I began to notice, FINALLY, something was missing in my life. It wasn’t success that was missing. It was significance.
Most CEOs have the same symptoms I did. We have a gorgeous house, but are hardly around to enjoy it. We eat at private lunch clubs, but we’re still hungry inside. Our expensive watches can’t keep our time from slipping away.
We have kids, but we may never really appreciate them. I didn’t, either, until involuntary unemployment kept me home, instead of frantic and at the office. “Pick me up, Daddy!” my three-year-old son kept saying. “It’s good for you.” Now how did he know that? But you know what, he was right.
Here I had been rushing, rushing, rushing, because I needed everything to be perfect. And then I would finally get back to my family and friends. I just needed to get all of my ducks in a row. People, have you ever tried to get your ducks in a row? I finally realized that I had to stop waiting for my life to get perfect to be happy.
The New CYA
Over time, the life I could never quite find seemed to fall right into my lap. In business, so often we’re taught to CYA. Well, I started my own version: Change Your Attitude.
Today I work with people and organizations who are trying to change their attitude and behavior. Many of them, facing their own periods of desperation, are wondering if they will ever recover. They will - with a change of focus.
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**John Chappelear is an author, motivational speaker, executive coach, and trainer. He lives in Florida and is grateful for his wonderful family. He is the author of The Daily Six - Simple Steps to Prosperity and Purpose. John is the founder of Changing the Focus, LLC. For more information, visit the website or send an e-mail to: john@changingthefocus.com.
